Jumper
by Cuban Kitty
Summary: 1R After suffering a tragic loss, Heero needs some divine intervention to put his life back into perspective.


Disclaimer: GW and Third Eye Blind aren't mine, I wish they were. Genre: Angst/Sap Warning: Deathfic, some Heero OC  
  
Jumper  
by: Cuban Kitty  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in.  
  
Heero walked along the desolate street, oblivious to the cold rain that poured down on his huddled frame. The rain didn't bother him at all, if anything it relieved him of having to explain his tears. Soldiers didn't cry – he – didn't cry, with the rain streaming down his face, mingling with the tears, He could disillusion himself as well as the world.  
  
All for nothing! His entire life had been a ridiculous waste. What the hell was the point of anything anymore?! The missions that he had deemed so important had cost him everything: his childhood, his life, his sanity, his...Relena. He swallowed a sob and walked faster, literally aching to reach his destination. Soon he wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. Soon he'd have everything that had ever been denied him back.  
  
And if you do want to see me again,  
I would understand  
  
"Maxwell, are you insane?! You let him go out at a time like this?" Wufei yelled at Duo.  
  
"He needed to be alone for a while, ya know. To ease his mind. Considering all that's happened, I thought it was a good idea."  
  
"It's not safe for him to be alone right now, not safe for any of us, what with the Romafeller Foundation finally employing its full power," Trowa said in his quiet tone, green eyes gazing out the window for his hurting friend.  
  
"It's not Romafeller we have to worry about," Wufei stated quietly. "It's Heero." The Chinese boy sat back in the uncomfortable wooden chair, his dark eyes focusing on a small digital clock that had long been broken, the green digits stuck on 3:47. He shut his eyes tiredly and rubbed his temples, knowing the pain Heero was suffering.  
  
They had all been shocked to hear of the deaths of the scientists. The losses had hurt; though the men had used the pilots as pawns in their quest for vengeance for the death of the colonies' belovéd leader, they had been the only way the boys knew. But the true jolt had occurred two days ago when they heard of Relena Peacecraft's assassination. Heero had said nothing, merely stared at the TV in disbelief before silently leaving the room, his eyes strangely bright. The others had offered their sympathies, but Wufei knew they couldn't truly understand. Meiran...yes, he knew exactly how the haunted soldier felt inside – dead.  
  
I would understand  
  
Quatre came limping into the room, still not recovered from the attack that had sent the five pilots into hiding. His blue-green eyes held a troubled expression. "Where's Heero?" he asked, glancing at each pilot.  
  
"He went for a walk," Duo answered.  
  
The Arabian boy's face suddenly went pale, and he gripped the table to steady himself. Wufei led the protesting boy to a chair. "N-no! We have to go after him!"  
  
"Quatre, he'll be fine, just let him—"  
  
"No, Duo! You don't understand," the gentle blond was visibly shaking. "I-I have this feeling...we have to find him."  
  
"Alright, Quatre," Trowa said, leaving his perch by the window. "We'll go out to look for him if it will ease your fears." The blond nodded and began to rise but was stopped by Trowa. "The only condition is that you remain here."  
  
"But—"  
  
"Oi, Trowa's right, little buddy. You need to stay here and concentrate on getting better. Besides," Duo rose from the bare wooden table, "someone needs to stay here in case Heero gets back before the rest of us."  
  
The angry boy,  
A bit too insane,  
Icing over a secret pain  
  
The rain was coming down harder now, each drop stinging as it hit his face. He paused under a streetlight, staring longingly at a couple inside the nearby diner. The woman had her hair...he could see himself and his lost angel in their place. He leaned against the streetlight and closed his eyes, a wistful smile tracing his lips as he imagined the future they could have had.  
  
They could be sitting in that very diner, enjoying each other's company. The warmth in those delicate jewel blue eyes would chase away the chill of the night, the air would be filled with her rich, soft laughter, and for once he would actually be able to express to her his emotions, the elusive words that had always escaped him would come freely and easily.  
  
He would smile at her as he pulled out a little gray box and set it in front of her. He could actually feel how nervous he'd be as she lifted the lid, then he would see those brilliant eyes widen as she stared at the ring.  
  
You know you don't belong.  
  
He shook his head, the warm vision dissipating with cold reality replacing it. Thunder roared and lightning snaked across the sky. It matched his mood. He turned, more eager now to reach his destination than ever. Soon, he promised. Soon.  
  
Well, you're the first to fight,  
You're way too loud  
  
Duo set the useless cap firmly into place, his long chestnut braid long soaked from the bombarding rain. The storm was getting worse and still no Heero. He slipped the small phone back into his pocket, wondering where his friend could be. He sighed and walked past a diner, ignoring his growling stomach. No time for food, he had to make sure Heero was safe.  
  
You're the flash of light  
On the burial shroud  
  
Trowa flipped the cell phone shut. Still no luck. Where could he be? Come on, Heero, this is dangerous. A crack of lightning split the heavens, making it almost as bright as day. Trowa cast a worried look toward the sky, the rain plastering down his bangs, always obscuring one green eye. If he didn't find Heero soon, Trowa would have to return without him; he didn't want to leave Quatre alone for too long. Heero's disappearance would only worsen the injured pilot's state. "Heero, where are you?" he whispered.  
  
I know something's wrong  
  
Wufei turned suddenly to face the lightning, instantly knowing where his friend had gone. He speed-dialed Quatre and shouted, "He's heading to the bridge!" then slammed the phone shut and took off at a dead run.  
  
The rain blinded him, but his feet didn't need their assistance. They knew where he wanted to go. And he had his precious Meiran there to guide him; she steered him in the right way, aiding to his speed. Don't do it, Heero. Just hang on...please.  
  
Well everyone I know has got a reason  
To say,  
Put the past away  
  
"WHAT!? The bridge?" Duo spun around, crossing the diner a second time, running after his troubled friend.  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend  
  
"I'm on my way." Trowa turned the motorcycle in his desired direction and sped off.  
  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in.  
  
Quatre flipped the switch, light illuminating the four motorcycles—their getaway vehicles. Quatre's was in bad shape from the crash; he had lost control when he had been shot and crashed into a parked car. Wufei had saved him, narrowly escaping the soldiers. Why Heero had gone back for the destroyed bike he did not know.  
  
"I can't just sit around here twiddling my thumbs. I've got to help." He jumped on Heero's bike, wincing a little from the impact, and put on the helmet. His healing ribs could be worried about later, right now Heero's life was at stake.  
  
And if you do not want to see me again,  
I would understand,  
I would understand  
  
Heero looked up, his vision obscured by the rain, his destination reached. His steps never faltered as he walked to the bridge's edge, his pace steady and determined, and stopped by a lone gargoyle silently pondering the sky. He looked down at the choppy water understanding the tremendous impact the morbid moment held.  
  
Well he's on the table,  
And he's gone to code,  
And I do not think anyone knows  
What they're doing here  
  
He took a calming breath and gazed up at the sky once more. Why didn't I ever tell her? Why did I always push her away? The answer was simple: the missions, his training, his confusion...his fear. A bitter smile formed on his lips. He had been afraid something would happen to her if she stayed with him, so he built up a wall of ice around his heart, thinking it would keep her safe. Ha!  
  
And your friends have left you,  
You've been dismissed  
  
Well, he wouldn't agonize about it any longer. Heero lifted himself up to stand on the ledge. A glance down at the water showed the waves seeming to leap up, almost trying to reach for their victim and claim his life all the sooner. The wind, however, howled its fury and tried to push him back onto the bridge. The troubled pilot held tightly onto the stone gargoyle at his side, refusing to bend to Nature's power.  
  
I never thought it would come to this  
And I,  
I want you to know  
  
"NO! You can't deny me this! You owe it to me!" Heero furiously shouted into the wind, tears of anger and pain streaming down his face. He opened his eyes as the wind died down and started as he saw a faintly glowing light heading toward him. It flew swiftly over the water, a shapeless mass, and stopped in front of him. Heero blinked, confused, and watched in fascination as the mass began to take shape.  
  
Everyone's got to face down the demons  
  
The Wing pilot stared in disbelief, his jaw dropped as Relena's image emerged, light surrounding her, making her appear like the angel she was. His angel, his beautiful angel.  
  
"Relena? How—?"  
  
Kind eyes full of wisdom and pain smiled at him. "Heero, don't sacrifice yourself." Her sweet voice caressed his wet frame, breaking through the wall of ice and warming the perfect soldier from the inside out. "There are people here that need you; people who will be heartbroken if you jump."  
  
Maybe today,  
We can put the past away  
  
"What does it matter anymore? The others might grieve, but they'll get over it. I'm no one special, Relena. I'm poison! Everything I touch is destroyed, everyone I care about killed. I'd be doing the world a favor."  
  
"You're wrong, Heero. You're a savior, my savior and the one of countless others."  
  
He sneered. "If that's so then why are you dead?" Heero felt something tighten in his chest as the words tumbled from his lips. "Why did you leave me?"  
  
She smiled sadly. "That wasn't your fault, it was mine for being so careless about the company I kept. In no way were you to blame," she paused and when she looked back up at him, he saw the tears in her eyes. "And as for leaving you, believe me, I never wanted to go. You were my last thought, your name the last breath from my lips."  
  
"Relena, I...I miss you."  
  
"And I miss you, Heero."  
  
"Will you...will you wait for me?"  
  
She smiled, her heart reflecting in her beautiful eyes. "Yes. Forever."  
  
The light grew brighter, so intense that it hurt his eyes and he lifted an arm to shield them against it. Relena's image began to fade and before he could help himself the wall of ice completely crumbled and he whispered to her, "I love you, Relena."  
  
The light disappeared and the wind picked up again, but it no longer attempted to push him back, it caressed instead and he heard it whisper back, "And I love you."  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in.  
And if you do not want to see me again,  
I would understand.  
  
Wufei found him gazing thoughtfully at the star-filled sky, the storm quickly receding. The Chinese pilot said not a word as he joined his friend.  
  
I would understand.  
  
After a while, they heard the sound of engines and turned to see Trowa dismounting from the bike, Quatre was close behind, and both were followed by an out of breath God of Death.  
  
"Are you alright, Heero?" Quatre asked, concern for his friend radiating in his eyes as he slowly approached.  
  
Heero turned back to gaze at the sky once more, then turned to his comrades and shocked them all with a dazzling smile. "Yes, Quatre. Yes I am." Maybe for the first time ever, I truly am.  
  
Can you put the past away?  
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.  
I would understand.  
  
El Fin. 


End file.
